Category: Literature

National Football League commissioner Roger Goodell stunned the sports world yesterday announcing that the Seattle Seahawks must forfeit the Super Bowl title they captured last February. Goodell said that every member of the Seahawks’ 70-man roster flunked drug tests the night before their victory over the Denver Broncos.

Expect the losing streak to start on Thursday, in Oakland, where the front office uses something called Moneyball.

After more than 20 years absence from Seattle, the now gigantic kaiju and former Sonics mascot known as the Wheedle emerged from Elliott Bay to crush the Viaduct.

Finally we can finally break the news that Goldy has joined the Seattle Star‘s list of faces. Charles Noreaster has the scoop.

Seattle Seahawks legend Brian Bosworth teams up with Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas, Sly Stallone, Steven Seagal and a bunch of other Y-chromosome bearers in the latest testosterone fest.

The former Sonics mascot’s true plans over the past few years have come to awful fruition.

Local reporters and music fans were shocked when an anonymous whistle blower in the music business revealed that Sir Mix-A-Lot has had a lifelong secret obsession with Gertrude from the J.P. Patches Show.

Back from the dead and ready to party, the Frank Colacurio-approved book by Rick Anderson gets its day to bleach in the window sunlight.

Carlson & Beck form Axis of Weasels, seize West Seattle & Shoreline! Vashon & Lake Forest park invaded! Carlson sez, “We need lebensraum!” Beck sez “Ethnic cleansing is for everybody!”

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